Give Me Five

One of the worst, worst things about being a single mom is the lack of time outs. Everything you read in all the parenting magazines talks about how you can be a better parent if you take time for you, even if its just a half hour or five minutes or three seconds where SOMEONE ISN"T SCREAMING and YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN DO ANYTHING TO STOP THE ONCOMING APOCALYPSE.

Like right now, all of my body language is saying, please, please, please children get away. Yet children lack in this ability to pick up on such subtleties as, "can't you go away and play by yourself for an hour?" or "If you whine one more word, I will shove pencils in my ears." or "If you do not quit slapping at your sister (who is on the other side of my hip) I am spending your entire 529 savings on gin."

Because, I know I do like these kids, but right now, we all would really benefit if I could go have a coffee or meet a friend for a bit, or you know, I would be happy right now just to be able to sit in my car alone for five minutes. Instead, I have to try to get the baby wipe out of the heating duct that I watched my two year old shove in as I sat here typing away, too far away to stop him and my yelling just insured he shoved it down all the faster. Because children know that evenutally, they will win, and you will be so worn out that you will feed them cheetos and ring dings if it can buy you five minutes.